We all like to think we are right in our opinions.
But when two people disagree, how do we decide?
Is someone a loud-mouth or are you just too quiet? What is too loud? What is too quiet?
Is someone organized or too persnickety?
If you are business-like, do you see more informal types as sloppy and bohemian slackers?
If you are informal, do you see many others as too business-like, stiff and needing to relax?
I think the problem is two things:
1. All of us are in a sense "judge and jury" on these things and we use ourselves as the guideline. Anyone who is MORE a certain way than we are, is "too much" and anyone who is LESS a certain way than we are is "slacking" and needs to get with it. We measure others against ourselves. So what to do? I think a Big Help would be to:
2. DEFINE what WE mean by: quiet, loud, sloppy, meticulous, too much, not enough, etc. Say where you draw-the-line, and why there.
But too many people don't do that. It's too easy to say someone who doesn't do it our way is wrong or weird. And we're too abrupt and impatient to make an effort to understand the other person.
It would be much better to calmly ask why they do it they way they do, and listen. If more of us did that more often, it would go a long way to a better understanding of each other. Then, it's easier to relate and communicate and we feel more comfortable around each other. And those, are always good things.